“One day, I’ll grow up to be really excellent at something”

(Note: Fair warning, this post gets a bit personal.  I usually don’t go into personal details on this blog, but every once and awhile, a girl needs a chance to get something off her chest.  This is not meant to be a pity party.)

I have a confession to make: I’ve been feeling a bit down lately.  I know that it’s a combination of factors: One) I’m actually getting tired of cold weather.  I feel like I’ve exhausted my winter wardrobe, and I’m ready to be able to go outside wearing only one or two layers and sandals.  Two) It’s been six months since I finished my Master’s Degree, and yet I still don’t have a permanent, full-time job in my field.

Number Three is the biggest factor in why I haven’t been feeling myself lately.  I went back to school so that I could work in a field that I love, and yet I have only had three interviews in the past six months.  I thought that once a librarian position opened up with the system I worked in before, I would be alright, but when I applied for an opening a few weeks ago, I didn’t even get called in for an interview.  Money has been really tight while I’ve been substituting and working at a grant-funded temp job, and both of those will be ending after May.  I’ve got to start paying off my loans as well.  All this stress is constantly getting at me, even when I don’t consciously realize it.  I’ve been eating poorly out of stress, I’ve gained a few pounds, and I’ve bitten down my nails pretty badly.

I really started realizing how much this stress is taking its toll on me when I was going through the pictures of this outfit.  I wore this on my birthday, and I loved how the outfit came together.  And yet, hardly any of my smiles seemed genuine.  And that really bothered me, because my philosophy on life is to always stay optimistic, and that plays a big part in this blog.  But now I’m realizing that, sometimes you just don’t feel like smiling.  And that’s okay.  I know that I will get through this.  I know that things will get better.  I’m just ready for them to be better right now.

What do you do when stress rears its ugly head in your life?

Dress: Boden (via Ebay)
Cardigan: Sweet Mary Jane, handknit by me
Tights: Hue
Boots: Dansko Risa (via Ebay)
Purse: Vintage (thrifted)
Earrings: Wear-thou

Quote: The OK Book, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld

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About Diana

Style maven, knitter, crafter, seamstress, one who does not walk the beaten path.
This entry was posted in Outfits and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to “One day, I’ll grow up to be really excellent at something”

  1. girlxoxo says:

    I totally feel you on this. I’ve been to grad school too and remember the stress of finding a job. I wish I could say something that would make things magically get better, but to be honest, the only thing that worked for me was to wake up everyday and do what needed to be done – applying for jobs, updating the resume, making cold calls etc … even though I definitely did not feel like it. Like you, I had hobbies for distraction (a website) which thankfully was making some money.

    But I can tell you that it’s better to be at a job you like (which might take a few months to get), than jump at the 1st offer like I did and hate it.

    I know it sounds corny but just try thinking positive thoughts everyday, no matter how hard and stay busy doing things you might not have the chance to do once you have a full time job.
    .-= girlxoxo´s last blog ..Cabin Fever No More =-.

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  2. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling down right now. Life can be tough sometimes and like you said, it’s OK to not be smiling. It means you’re real and have real emotions. I do believe that the right thing will come along when the time is right, but that certainly doesn’t make the road there any easier some days. Soon enough the weather will be getting warmer and a new job will come along. In the meantime, remind yourself of all the great things you have in your life too.

    It depends on what is stressing me out for how I deal with it really. Sometimes I try and back off of it for a little while, or remind myself that something is out of my control so worrying about it won’t help. Or even just remind myself that everything passes. Which it does and so will this.

    🙂
    .-= Kim, The Closet of Kim´s last blog ..Birthday Bashes =-.

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  3. The Real Me says:

    ((((Hugs)))

    I’m confident that the right thing will come along for you. I’m just sorry it is taking so long.

    I don’t deal well with stress.
    .-= The Real Me´s last blog ..Sock It to Me Sunday =-.

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  4. Suz says:

    I am wishing you the best. I know how you feel about being tired of the cold weather. I have seasonal affective disorder, so for several months of the year, I am depressed for no reason at all.

    When I’m stressed or feeling down, I make time for yoga. Even if it’s just a few minutes to lay in corpse pose and BREATHE, it always, always helps.

    I’ll be sending good vibes your way. 🙂 (And by the way, you look wonderful!)
    .-= Suz´s last blog ..Make-believe with you =-.

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  5. Even when feeling blah, I think there is something to faking a smile that brings a real one to your face. When I feel down, I focus on things I love- cooking for friends, exploring the city- whatever keeps me busy and active. Wishing you warm days ahead, both literally and figuratively.

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  6. m says:

    I’ve been going through a similar situation. The only thing that has helped me is making my health (physical and mental) my top priority and having an intense self-care regimen, including yoga, home-cooked food, supplements, perfume, running, spending time in sunshine, and home manicures, among other things. Some of it may seem silly, but I know I don’t handle this kind of stress well, and I need all the pampering and relaxation I can get (that doesn’t cost money) to get through it. And getting through is what its all about because obviously you will eventually find the right job, it’s just a matter of surviving the anxiety in the mean time. Plus, treating yourself well helps toward appearing confident and positive, not stressed and desperate, when it comes to interviewing and networking. 😛 I know it sucks. Hang in there, I’m wishing you well.

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  7. Sally says:

    Ugh, I know it can be such a bear to be on the hunt for the perfect job, especially in this market. But I bet the perfect opening will present itself when you least expect it. Till then, try to cut yourself some slack – this is a tough transition, and you may need to pamper yourself more than usual. Nothing wrong with that.
    .-= Sally´s last blog ..Reader Request: Bending Trends =-.

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  8. Kelly says:

    Aw Diana, I’m sorry you’re going through such a stressful patch. I know you’ll get through this but in the meantime, we’re here for you. {{hugs}}
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..scarf problem =-.

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  9. I’m very sorry to hear that you’re feeling down. It is a stressfull time when you’re looking for a job and funds are drying up. I hope things are looking up very soon!

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  10. J. says:

    Chin up! It does sound like a stressful patch of life to go through, but you can do it!

    I don’t think you have to be little miss optimist all the time, but don’t ever let yourself get into a dark hole. The economy’s tough, but you’re tougher. It does suck that you didn’t get called back for an interview, but they’re missing out on a great person and you can get past this.

    ALSO: Use your connections. Do you know anybody at the system you used to work for who’s a little higher up and who would know of positions available elsewhere (outside the system)? I’m really big on networking and asking other people for help, so yeaaaaaa… I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.

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  11. Diana, I’m so sorry!! I can’t say I’ve been in your situation but I know that feeling.. I usually give myself a good cry to get everything out and then pick myself up and try twice as hard! And the cycle repeats.. 🙂 Good luck! I’m sending good energy your way!
    .-= Elaine, clothedmuch´s last blog ..New Widths =-.

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  12. Oh, honey! I totally feel you. I was on the academic job market this year, and only had one conference interview and one phone interview. Right now I don’t have any concrete hope of having an income past June (maybe August if I get a summer class, but that’s up in the air). It’s frustrating because I have spent seven years in grad school and I’ve done the conferences, sent out the publications, won external funding, and taught my ass off. All I can do is realize that I’m not the only one in this situation and work on what I can control. There are a lot of people out there with stellar resumes and CVs. Keep focus on the things that you can do – apply for everything in your field and be open to the fact that in this economy it might take a couple of years.

    Good luck!

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  13. Amanda says:

    wishing you the best. this too shall pass.

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  14. k says:

    stress is never fun when it takes over your life (well, okay, stress is rarely fun, period). i’ve been having a lot of health stress over the past couple years, and it’s definitely taken it’s toll. it must be very hard for you after achieving something to be proud of (your masters) and then not seeing a reward (a good job) in a timely fashion. i can only hope something comes your way soon and you are able to keep your head high until then!
    .-= k´s last blog ..slow sewing… =-.

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  15. Chelsea says:

    Oh, I know what you mean about your outfit pics portraying your mood (even if you only you can detect it). I notice that when I’m down my smiles look forced, and what I really want to do is just look distant in my photos.

    As for how I handle stress… badly? I usually eat too much and mope around in sweatpants. But I’m working on it, and these days the best way I’m trying to deal with stress is by thinking really about what I’m upset about, and what my expectations of MYSELF are. Usually my expectations are unreasonable like I should be perfect (I’m not, duh), so if I flip the script and convince myself that my imperfections are normal and making mistakes is part of learning then I feel a bit better, even if my situation sucks.
    .-= Chelsea´s last blog ..Outfit log: Mostly Vintage =-.

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  16. Kristin says:

    I’m also in the midst of job hunting, and sometimes it just feels really hopeless and just a lesson in humility. What really helps me is to remind myself that as long as I’ve done all I can do, then my end is held up, and hopefully the universe will help me out eventually. Also, EVERYONE (unless they’ve chosen to remove themselves from society or live off of trust funds) is in this situation at some point in their life. Now is just our time, I suppose. Enjoy the aspects of your life that aren’t stressful, especially family and friends … and never fear about venting on your blogspace. There are lots of friendly ears/eyes out here! :o)
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..Plumage – Shiny for the Victorious =-.

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  17. Struggler says:

    Oh, so much to say about this.
    Firstly, I don’t think it’s just you – I’ve been feeling down too (didn’t realize how much until hubby read me the riot act!) and I think maybe it’s a late winter thing.
    Secondly, the job market seems incredibly tight; those of us lucky enough to have one are hanging onto it like crazy, but I know that anyone hiring is getting flooded with applicants. I don’t have too much to offer you except moral support on that front.
    Thirdly, if it helps at all, you look lovely in that Boden dress, I remember liking that print when they were selling it, and if I recall, it’s the same design as my plain gray dress which is one of the easiest, most comfy items I own!
    .-= Struggler´s last blog ..Impulsive but Adorable =-.

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  18. Lauren says:

    Oh hun I’m so sorry you feel like this!

    All you can really do is keep searching, and maybe consider applying for interim jobs in te meantime, even if that means being a shop assistant or something totally unconnected to where you want to end up.

    If you ever need someone to check over your application forms or cover letters, I am here!

    xxx
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..What I Wore | Countryside Florals =-.

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  19. Amanda says:

    Aw, that’s rough – I can’t imagine looking for a job for 6 months. Don’t give up, and be sure you’re doing everything you can (library conferences/lectures/etc), for networking too – I know my supervisor really looks at that when going through resumes. Good luck – and I love Amy Krouse Rosenthal too, The OK Book is cute, Spoon is my current fave.

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  20. eyeliah says:

    sorry you’ve been feeling down. 😦 I hope you feel happier soon Diana!

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  21. Shybiker says:

    I’m glad you had the courage to share this with us, buddy. Feeling down from a discouraging job-search is normal. Letting friends shore you up with emotional support is smart in this situation.

    Keep plugging away at the search and your break will come. You just need perseverence and time.

    In the meantime, try to stay happy. Do little things you enjoy. And let friends cheer you up.

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  22. alechia says:

    Ohhhhh it’s going to be ok!!! Stress is a crazy thing, I keep losing my hair, that’s stress for you. But I know out of everyone, you will get a great media job, because you rock! It’ll work out, you just have to believe that ok? And remember you always have me!!!
    .-= alechia´s last blog ..Publicize: Facebook =-.

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  23. Clare says:

    Oh, Diana, I’m so sorry to hear this. And also, I can totally relate. Not to make things more difficult for ya, but it took me a year and a half after getting my Masters degree to actually land a job in my field. It’s hard right now, and I know how hard it is to keep your attitude positive during all that.

    I totally wish we lived in the same city so we could get together over a glass of wine and lament about the economy. I promise it’ll get better, though.

    In the meantime, try to keep your spirits up. I have a good feeling about you, missy!
    .-= Clare´s last blog ..In Other Words =-.

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  24. Rachel says:

    Hey! I just wanted to tell you that I 100% relate…and probably nothing anyone says makes it “better”. Just don’t give up, no matter what. I am trying not to give up hope either!
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..did someone call for a boy scout? =-.

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  25. Rachel says:

    Oh, and I find your smiles go with everything…incredibly inspiring. I am an ultimate pessimist. Thank you!
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..did someone call for a boy scout? =-.

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  26. Pingback: Smiles Go With Everything » “You’re really quite lucky”

  27. katrina says:

    i can identify with what you’re going through, Diana. in fact, i’m going through something similar and all in know is that things will work out somehow. thanks for sharing, Diana.
    .-= katrina´s last blog ..Mr. Rabbit, Sir @ Oh Hello, Friend =-.

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