(Note: Fair warning, this post gets a bit personal. I usually don’t go into personal details on this blog, but every once and awhile, a girl needs a chance to get something off her chest. This is not meant to be a pity party.)
I have a confession to make: I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. I know that it’s a combination of factors: One) I’m actually getting tired of cold weather. I feel like I’ve exhausted my winter wardrobe, and I’m ready to be able to go outside wearing only one or two layers and sandals. Two) It’s been six months since I finished my Master’s Degree, and yet I still don’t have a permanent, full-time job in my field.
Number Three is the biggest factor in why I haven’t been feeling myself lately. I went back to school so that I could work in a field that I love, and yet I have only had three interviews in the past six months. I thought that once a librarian position opened up with the system I worked in before, I would be alright, but when I applied for an opening a few weeks ago, I didn’t even get called in for an interview. Money has been really tight while I’ve been substituting and working at a grant-funded temp job, and both of those will be ending after May. I’ve got to start paying off my loans as well. All this stress is constantly getting at me, even when I don’t consciously realize it. I’ve been eating poorly out of stress, I’ve gained a few pounds, and I’ve bitten down my nails pretty badly.
I really started realizing how much this stress is taking its toll on me when I was going through the pictures of this outfit. I wore this on my birthday, and I loved how the outfit came together. And yet, hardly any of my smiles seemed genuine. And that really bothered me, because my philosophy on life is to always stay optimistic, and that plays a big part in this blog. But now I’m realizing that, sometimes you just don’t feel like smiling. And that’s okay. I know that I will get through this. I know that things will get better. I’m just ready for them to be better right now.
What do you do when stress rears its ugly head in your life?
Quote: The OK Book, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld